Survivor

The new season of Survivor is really picking up steam as it heads towards what will probably be the merge episode tonight. All of the castaways have found their niche in the tribe, with wedding photographer Randy emerging as the evil villain. Sometimes the producers edit the show to make a contestant look worse than he is, but I guarantee there is not a piece of footage on the cutting room floor where Randy is not being a dick. Corrine was striving for the same character, but her lack of control in the tribe and petty jealously make her confessionals sound like she is in the girls room of her high school, gabbing to her friends about how everyone else is a bitch. Something I find incredibly unique and utterly awkward is the relationship between the straight Marcus and gay Charlie. Who knew Survivor had this much subtext? I assure you if I were on the show, I would never have the balls to pull off what Marcus is doing. It is painfully obvious that Charlie is in love with Marcus, and Marcus is totally playing into the infatuation. I know it’s all about alliances and trust, but Marcus may have painted himself into a corner. If his plan goes accordingly, and their alliance makes it to the final four, I don’t think anything short of Marcus banging him will make Charlie want to go to the jury against him. What about Crystal? She represented America proudly in the Olympics, and the Olympics poorly on Survivor. Nobody else has any gold medals and they make it through a challenge without crying. And then she has the nerve to get offended when someone calls her on it. So with all these lunatics running around, the one sane person on the tribe is the one I’m predicting to win. Kenny, the 21 year old professional video gamer was the only castaway of the doomed yellow tribe strategizing the entire time. He played the retro pinup model Sugar like he was on the final level of Halo 3, and doesn’t have an enemy in either tribe. So Kenny is my official prediction to win, which means he will probably get the boot this week, but nevertheless this is one entertaining group of misfits.